just tell him i said nine months
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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