great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
