i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
