i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
