69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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