I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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