and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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