You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
