he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Someone came in the potted fern
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
