My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
