She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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