from now on my penis is your penis
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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