Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
this is an emotional support booty call
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
