the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
