Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
