My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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