Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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