I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
