I want you more than these girls want KFC
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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