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Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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