Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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