his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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