The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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