drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
