Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
