She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
