dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
