dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
