i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
