so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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