i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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