dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
