i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
