It was confusing and full of hummus
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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