Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
