She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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