Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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