before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
