Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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