you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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