You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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