but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
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Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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