this just has baby written all over it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
