I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
