the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
