i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
