No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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