I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize