Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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