nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
