neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
3 2 1 whiskey
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
