But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
