I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This house was built for laser tag.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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