i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There's even glitter on my cock...
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