My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
