I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
