I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
