how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
